Any parents who have unrealistic expectations of their children in terms of marriage, most of the time their children remain unmarried.. No person can be completely perfect. Mistakes are inherent in every person and life can be happy only by adapting them.
I saw a very nice Facebook post today that I thought I needed to comment on so I sat down to write.. Nowadays especially in the Bengali community, there is a delay in the marriage of a boy or a girl. The main reason is the high expectations in people’s minds. Many times parents of boys and girls have so much expectation which is never realistic i.e. they expect a person to have all the qualities which is never realistic because it is never possible for a person to have all the qualities some or the other he will have some faults we accept that there are some faults in each of us but we never accept it in others and this is where the problem starts. Like till today no person can say that there is nothing wrong in him as I am sitting writing this article I have many mistakes which people can easily find out but that said I never claim that there is nothing wrong in me but when I choose a girl for me I don’t know why I think that she must have all the qualities so in reality boys don’t get married and girls also don’t get a suitable partner for them. When we were young, our parents used to tell us that even the moon has blemishes, that is, even though the moon looks so beautiful, there are holes in it that spoil its beauty, that the moon is not completely beautiful, and that there are some bad things in it. But when there is talk of marriage at home, the parents of sons and daughters expect so much that it is too late for their sons and daughters to get married in practical cases. Our society is such that a mother can accept her daughter’s far away school but does not want to accept any fault in her son’s wife. I don’t know why he behaves like this, maybe this happened to him too, but this thing is not at all desirable, it causes a lot of confusion..
I was very young and a close relative of mine was looking for a girl for marriage but he was very temperamental about various things so he talked to many girls but finally could not decide on marriage. From the very beginning he always found something in every girl but he had many flaws in himself which he never tried to correct in his life so he could not like any girl despite seeing many girls. When he saw a dark skinned girl he used to say that he didn’t like dark skin at all he wanted a fair girl not only fair but also educated and from a good family but he needed a girl with no blemishes on his character. Even though I was very young then I realized that it is not possible to find such a partner without any flaws in her. Finally, that gentleman could not marry that is, he did not find any girl according to his mind, in fact he will not get it because no person is born in the world without any flaws in him. Every human being in the world has flaws, so we have to accept each other’s little flaws, if we argue or dislike each other, life becomes very bad. But what I said is not only applicable to boys but equally applicable to girls in some cases girls are more demanding i.e. There is no end to their needs, on the one hand they want a very handsome, handsome boy as their partner, expecting him to be financially strong as well. At the same time, girls also expect that there will be no character flaws in the boy, i.e. they expect something that in reality meeting God cannot give them. Let me give an example if someone wants a very beautiful woman as a partner, most likely she will have some character flaws because she is a very beautiful girl, he had many options, so if there is a character flaw in her, it is better to accept it, otherwise, marry a girl with a little beauty. Meaning biography you can’t get everything you want at once you can ask for any thing maybe you will get it but if you decide i want every thing it is not possible a person is very rich his educational qualification doesn’t go very far in general. Again a person who is highly educated usually doesn’t become very rich because he prefers a limited working life.I have seen many such cases in practical field.. A man who is very good-looking usually has many relationships with many women, so girls have to accept that if she wants a very good-looking husband, she should not worry too much about the character of her husband. And when a person wants to have all the virtuous in his partner, whether he is a boy or a girl, it becomes unrealistic thinking which does not eventually lead them to get married.
This world has allowed us to live in its bosom for a short time, so if we expect too much from this world or from this life, I think it is too much. Be a bit realistic because if we live in this world and are not aware of what is happening around us then it will be difficult for us to make life decisions like many parents today who are not able to make life decisions for their children quickly. Talking to a person he said that nowadays many girls are single. That is because her father or mother is preferring some person for government jobs for their daughter but the reality is that there are very few people in government jobs now. So their daughters are getting older while they remain unmarried, maybe a time will come when they will not get married at all. That is, in this case too, expectations are depressing them so much that they may not be able to find anything joyful in life. But if the girl’s parents could hand over their daughter to a hardworking boy, her daughter’s life would have been better. But chasing a government job, they ruin their daughter’s life. Lord Krishna said that when we can bring our expectations under control then we can become the happiest person in the world and it seems to fit perfectly. It happened in my case when I was expecting too much from this life but later I realized the reality and made myself with time and now I don’t expect too much atleast unrealistic expectations don’t come in my mind so I am very happy in my heart.. A wise man told me that whenever you find yourself suffering or feeling most unhappy, think of those who are suffering more than you and you will realize that you are very lucky because you are happier than most people. There is nothing wrong in having expectations in life but unrealistic expectations only bring trouble in our life and many difficulties in decision making as I myself have experienced in my life and I am sharing them with you..Every parent wants their son’s or daughter’s life to be secure and prosperous, but in doing so, when they indulge in unrealistic expectations, they not only cause their own lives to suffer, but they also make the lives of their sons and daughters much more miserable. So a request to all people stay away from unrealistic expectations and make life decisions according to your ability then life will be very beautiful. And don’t just find fault in people and try to adapt to some things because not all problems are solved in this life some problems we have to adapt to in our life. Maybe some words are not written in any book but they have to be saved from life experience. Because there can be no book bigger than life.
